April 2016: After three years away from this blog I'm back. It was originally started so I could make sense of the madness that ensued after my marriage to a sociopath. Much has changed, grown and been created since then - including reclaiming my full birth name Melanie Pledger.
My voice has become stronger, and so has my mission. I'm here on this earth to share the life-changing magic that developed as a result of my personal journey overcoming abuse, abandonment, manipulation and betrayal. I've learned that many of the rules we've been taught about life are fundamentally wrong. They've been misunderstood by most, misused by some, and deliberately misdirected by the manipulators who live and breathe among us. I've also learned that it's easier and more enjoyable than people think to shift things around...
Now I know there was a reason for it all. So now I'm back to fill in the gaps. To share what I've discovered, and dispel the myths that don't serve us... I look forward to reconnecting with old friends, and discovering new ones.
Thank you for being here.
Mel xxx

Monday, 4 April 2016

Three Years Later... Look Who's Back

When writing the previous post, I said to myself that it would be the last one for this page. I'd said it before, this time though I affirmed that it was the moment to finally move on from the blog. I decided it was time to get cracking with the job in hand - because by then, my life's work had already begun taking shape. Already the life-changing magic that is today known as DeNA Light-Up was moving through me. I haven't written much about how it was born - my book only goes up to a certain time in my life, and I stopped writing the blog as it was coming in to form. So it's odd actually putting this stuff down in black and white. Why? Because this work was not something I asked for - nor was it something I consciously designed. And yet it came with a force so strong that, try as I might, I could not turn away. Believe you me, I certainly did try to run from it! 

Right from the early days, I realised the power of the work that was taking form. From deep within me, I knew the magnitude, and I recognised the enormity of the work that was to be done as a result. Light-Up, as I now fully understand and accept, is something much bigger than me. Although I rarely use the word, I believe that it is my destiny. It's my reason. And it finally makes perfect sense of all the struggles my life has offered me.

Over the past three years (and more) I've worked with countless people who have suffered at the hands of a sociopath/psychopath/narcissist/bully - I don't care about the label any more. It makes no difference what we call them - it's recognising their actions, acknowledging the damage they do, and offering support to people who have been targeted that's of importance to me. Because this is a key area where my experiences and this work helps.

I've witnessed manipulators in all shapes, sizes and environments. The sly ones, the overt ones. Ones who parade a killer smile to match their drop-dead style, and others who spit their venom under the cloak of some imaginary disorder - garnering pity from caring people who feel sorry for their hardships. Yes, I'm getting to know these types, and recognise them quickly. And the amusing thing is, I've discovered that in most cases they know that I know... and they avoid me.

And still I'm learning, while also fine-tuning the power of the work I'm sharing with others. In a nutshell, my work now is light over dark. It's love over fear. It's connection over self-sacrifice. The work is gathering force. And the manipulators can feel it. They don't like it. I don't care. 

I wrote a while ago, during what now seems like a previous lifetime, about calling fellow survivors together. I'd once again been struck by just how many beautiful, compassionate, intelligent, bright souls are lured in to a living hell - and once again felt the stirrings that those of us who've been through it, can in some way light the way for others to follow. 

"I believe that we are the ones who can band together and make a real difference. From where I am standing, it is our painful experiences that make us authentic, giving us the hard-earned power to understand and empathise at the deepest level. We’ve been there, seen it and got the T-shirt, and perhaps have more reason than others to make sure that we find a way to stop these people continuing to hurt us and others"

Since then, I now have a proven experiential journey, DeNA Light-Up, that allows people to reclaim their dignity, their sanity and their self-worth after losing themselves to such people. Light-Up is for everyone. Not just for people who've been snared by a psychopath. Yet here are where the roots lie. Because here, through my own experiences, was where this life-changing magic was first born.

And now I have a solution that can help so many more people heal so much more quickly than the time I took to recover myself. Which is why it's important to me that this very special group of people is up to speed with what we're doing.

So now I feel once again compelled to write here. To fill in some of the gaps, and also to document the progress as this new chapter develops. I don't know how often it will be - I'll write when I'm stirred.

In the meantime - thank you for reading. It's good to be back in the saddle again ;-) 

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