What's happened over the past couple of years?

What's happened over the past couple of years?
Come and find out about my lifetime mission!
Update April 2018: It's been a while my friends - and such a lot has happened since I was last active here!

When it finally dawned on me that I had been systematically abused - and not just by one person - my whole world collapsed around me.

You see, I had always believed myself to be a strong person. Capable. Successful and somewhat sassy to boot. A fighter. Someone who could overcome any challenge, as I'd proven to myself since early childhood, time and time again. So the knockout thud of recognition that I had been a 'victim' hit me with the full force of a steam train, tsunami and earthquake rolled into one.

"How could that have happened to me? How did I let it happen? Why didn't I notice it? Why didn't I stop it, or at least speak out?"
...and then came an all engulfing darkness of shame. And then the deafening silence.

It took me years to come out of that place. Years of hard work, self reflection and excruciating pain.

Which was how, ultimately, Light Up was finally born.

Now this work is being experienced and shared by many - and is growing in numbers and momentum. And I am grateful.
Grateful not only for my own experiences, also for the fact that Light Up gives people the tools to escape from their shame and pain in far less time than it took me!

We've already worked with trafficked women, abused children and traumatised adults, successfully guiding them back to completeness (without having to relive their horrors) in as little as two sessions.

People are waking up and finding their voices. I am a firm supporter of the #metoo movement, and every other group that sheds light on and offers a platform for people to speak out and seek a complete way of living.

Yes, there is darkness in this world. Yes, there is much that has been hidden away. And yes, now people are speaking out. Thank goodness for those voices! The quiet ones. The angry ones. The sad ones. The loud ones. All have their place. All have their unique message to share. All are warriors.

I am honoured to be in service, and to play my part in reigniting this beautiful world of ours. We are coming together now. We are gathering force. And I am glad.

Fellow warriors, I salute you. I commit to continuing to stand in this arena alongside all my brothers and sisters who know there is a better way and a brighter future.

Come and find out morewww.dnalightup.net

In continued love, recognition and gratitude


Mel xxx

Thursday, 11 April 2013

The Darkest Hour Is The One Before Dawn

Dawn over Moreton Bay-1=
Phewy... and.... breathe.... Over the past few days I've been feeling somewhat 'stuck' and blocked. I know, it happens to all of us every now and again. Recent weeks have brought such a buzzing roller-coaster of experiences that I'd forgotten how much the 'darkness' can feel so overwhelming when it arrives. I guess like so many others, I can be prone to periods where I lack energy and motivation, where it seems (emphasis on 'seems') that all is about to be lost and nothing is moving forward. I have referred to these moments before as the 'blip' times and I accepted long ago that whenever things become uncomfortable or unsettling it always signifies a period of growth and adjustment. I know for a fact that it heralds the start of something new, and that always (and in all ways) it is a good thing. But crikey, it can still be tricky when I'm in the thick of it!

This particular dark phase hasn't lasted very long. It's been a powerful one though, prompting me to once again bring in to play the skills I've been fine-tuning for so many years. I learned long ago not to fight whatever feelings I may be experiencing - just as I've also learned that the 'trick' to this is to just go with the flow, allowing whatever feelings to arise, without any judgement or blame. Whatever is going on is just an expression of who I am - and since I have finally learned to love who I am... well, then it stands to reason that there simply can't be any criticism, right? And so it has been that from that place of love, I have watched myself over the past few days as I've slumped around the house, feeling tired and lethargic, and prone to tears for no apparent reason. And at the same time I have loved myself for being that way, knowing that given time, patience and kindness I would come out the other side even brighter than before.

I guess it's part of nature's cycle - and there is no point arguing with that! Things die away to make room for new growth, and I suppose it's natural to feel a sense of mourning through the process. "This too will pass" is a phrase that has been running through my head, as I've continued to smile at myself in the mirror and give myself comforting 'mental hugs'. And you know what? Daft though it may perhaps seem, I can honestly say that this last dark period has been one that I actually learned to enjoy...! It doesn't mean I'd like to feel that way more of the time, it just means that this time it posed no real threat to me. Before, I would have been afraid. Before, I would have been worried that perhaps I was doing something wrong. Before, I would have been so focused on fighting 'what is' that I'd actually have prolonged the agony!

This time, though, I knew for sure that whatever was happening would pass. I remembered that there is a gift in every experience, and that however I might reappear the other side I would be brighter and stronger. Another of my favourite sayings is "the darkest hour is the one before dawn" so this time I chose to embrace the darkness, taking myself off to bed when I felt tired, and crying whenever I felt like it.

Last night, just after midnight, I felt the darkness lifting. And I rejoiced, knowing for certain that whatever blocks had been there were loosening their grip. I thanked the darkness for whatever gift it had been bringing, and went to sleep with a smile on my face. After a night of the most amazing dreams, I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of energy and life.

Things have shifted. I have grown once again. And I am ready for the next leg of my adventure.

Today I have had some wonderful conversations, some 'out of the blue' contacts, and some pieces of very positive news. Oh, and today, by the way, is also the day that finally finally the paperback version of my book is available worldwide through Amazon. Coincidences? Well... you know my thoughts on those ;-)

Bring it on - I've just stepped up another gear. I am peaceful, I am free, and I am ready for the new day.
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4 comments:

  1. So glad you are writing, sharing and loving yourself!

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    1. Thanks Magena - it took me a while to learn that lesson ;-) Now I've 'got it' though, perhaps I'll go for a PhD..? xx

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  2. Sometimes, we need that lull, that stop... for us to take stock of what is happening. A time to stop and smell the flowers. And to see.

    I think, also (for me) during that time, I can panic!! .... 'oh no, maybe I shouldn't do this'? Go out and get myself a proper job again!!

    I was at that point. With writing block. I thought what can I write about now? Then I heard from you, and it made me realise, to keep going.

    Thank you for shining light my way. I am very grateful that life gave you a stop and a pause, for if it hadn't then you might never have taken the time to find me, and write to me.

    Life is special huh?? :)

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  3. Hey Niks - so glad we've connected! Thank YOU for being such a beautiful soul. Here's to sharing stuff together eh? Yep, life sure is special indeed :-) Have a wonderful weekend! xx

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