Yup, I know I said in my last post that I'd finished this blog, but things have changed... and I'm very excited!
Over the two years that I've been writing, I've received countless messages of support that have kept me going along the way. As well as support, though, people have also emailed to thank me for sharing my experiences. It appears that my stories have provided help to others who have had their own challenges - some related to mine, others completely different. It has been those messages that have made me realise that perhaps I have more I can offer. Over recent months, what started as a smouldering curiosity has grown in to a burning determination to help others find their inner strength - after all, if I can do it then so can anyone else.
Having had more time to myself while work has quietened down, I've been thinking about ways to get my message out to a larger audience. A few weeks ago I parted company with my literary agent (while some may say that was foolish, I believe it was the right thing to do since, in the end, we just didn't properly 'get' where each other was coming from) and since then have been searching for alternatives. I've been researching various options that might be available - agents, publishing houses, e-books and self-publishing... and then all of a sudden the perfect opportunity turned up. Right there in front of my face - it had been there all the time (fitting perfectly with my constant mantra "All I need is within me - it's already here") just waiting for the right opportunity to arise.
During the early months after April 2009, I spent many hours going through Lovefraud.com a website dedicated to help those who have been targeted by a sociopath. It provides useful information as well as education on a subject about which surprisingly little is known. As well as that it has a thriving community who share stories and give each other support. For me, I was both appalled and relieved to discover that I was not alone in my experiences - in fact, as Donna Andersen explains on the home page:
"Experts estimate that 1% to 4% of the population are sociopaths, depending upon whom you ask. That means there may be 3 million to 12 million sociopaths in the United States, and 68 million to 272 million sociopaths worldwide" (you can click on the picture top right to buy her book)
So I decided that now would be the right time to make contact with Donna and offer my voice to her crusade. I was surprised and delighted to receive a positive response within a couple of days, and now I am very excited to announce that as from this week I am to join Lovefraud's team of authors! Tomorrow, Monday, Donna will be introducing me to the community, and Tuesday will be my first post.
Because of that, I have decided to re-open this blog and continue adding stories as things progress. I have just been chatting with one of my oldest friends who asked whether it all feels a bit surreal. To which my response was "no, it feels like I'm coming home" Because this is what I was born to do.
Of course, I am yet to see how my stories will be received - but I hope that this forum will help me to get my message out to more people. If some have already benefited from entries on this blog, then perhaps now I can reach many more. I am quite sure that I will not be to everybody's taste - but if I can help just one more person to escape the shackles of pain and destruction, well then it will all have been worthwhile.
Once more I find myself giving thanks to my ex (and others) because their actions have taught me to find myself. To bring forth the inner strength to reclaim my life and enjoy love and happiness - on my terms. As the title says, these are new beginnings - and boy am I ready... Bring it on!